breathing, money, apps, and photos

It seems like I've gotten in the habit of posting once a month. I guess that's fine... There are a few points that I want to touch upon, so I'll try writing under a few different categories.

 on appreciating the basics
Perhaps this is the most cliché sentence on this blog, but in the last two weeks, I've been consciously thinking a lot about how great it is to be able to do the most basic things in life. Breathing without the help of an external source, walking, seeing, talking, recognising and remembering things, places, and people... We carry out these skills, or abilities to be more precise, so subconsciously and automatically that thinking about them would be a waste of our energy and mental resources. However, actually taking the time to think about them could help us be much more appreciative, mindful, and thankful, and perhaps to see the full side of the cup rather than the empty.
My uncle had a stroke two weeks ago, and was unconscious for four days. At one point while my entire family was waiting outside his ICU room, the doctors told them that they weren't sure if he was going to make it, and that even if he did, the results of his CAT scans showed that he would only be able to communicate with his eyes. If he was able to see, that is. The reason my mom told me about all of these details is because I made her promise to not hide anything from me while I was away, if anything like this were to happen, and she wanted to keep her promise. Naturally, we were all devastated to hear the news. However, there was always a voice in me, which I shared with my mom, that told both of us that he was going to get past this, and come out strong like he always does.
Thankfully, we were right. He's currently out of the ICU, and slowly recovering. Not all of his skills and abilities have fully returned yet, but everyone is doing their best to help him through this process.
It's really hard being away from home when things like this happen, but it's allowed me to think about what really matters in life, and to remember to consciously remind myself that things are pretty good after all because I'm able to breathe, think, talk, walk, and see.


on how our environments affects who we are and what we do
I went to see the Cut-Outs exhibition of Matisse at the MoMa this weekend. It was so interesting to see such a different aspect and technique of an artist so well-known for his paintings, and it sparked in me a couple of thoughts.
Matisse was one of the most influential of many artists that left a dent in the universe during the period between mid 1800s and 1900s. That era produced more timeless artists than almost any other, and walking around MoMa, I came to a realisation of why that might be.
Today, definitions of success are widely shaped by constructs such as power and wealth. Bright individuals are encouraged to take on jobs because they are prestigious, pay well, or provide a combination of both. We are widely influenced by others' opinions, and try to lead lives that look cool on social media, even if we, ourselves, don't buy into the "cool"ness that we try to portray online. Since it is highly natural to be swayed by the opinion of those who we value, it is equally natural to buy into the values enforced by them. As a result, we create a culture that worships the aforementioned values, and end up living in homogenous societies that don't produce much other than more money.
Going back to the Europe of Matisse and Picasso, it's easy to see remarkable differences from the environment in which most of us in the "West" reside today. During the first and second World Wars, people had more urgent and vital concerns than being rich and famous or powerful. They had to worry about protecting themselves, their loved ones, finding food and shelter, and staying alive. It was a time of oppression, distress, and great difficulty, and there weren't many outlets to let go of any stress, pressure and depression that might have built up. Art, on the other hand, provided these artists a mode of expressing themselves, of escaping reality, and dealing with those difficulties. None of these artists, at least at the initial stages, had to think about whether or  not painting would bring them more wealth or power, because it was just something they could not live without. They were doing what they loved. Not to make any money from it. Not to impress anyone else. Not to feel fulfilled by checking off items from a to-do list constructed by societal norms that don't have any intrinsic meaning to the artist him or herself.
And the results were phenomenal. To date, we still admire the works of these artists as they have transcended the boundaries of time, and also because not as much art has since been created by so many influential artists within the same short time period.
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Another idea that came up touring this exhibit was after looking at one of Matisse's famous blue nude cut-outs. The description on the side said that Matisse would spend about 10-15 minutes per each stab of his scissors, and would spend days to make sure he got the curve on the model's leg exactly right. I think that kind of dedication and strive for perfectionism is, and can only be achieved while you're doing what you're supposed to be doing, something you love, and can absolutely not do without. For Matisse, that was painting. I hope I find my version of it too.


call me old-fashioned
I recently read the biography of Steve Jobs. I loved and respected Apple even before reading his story, but those feelings have gotten on a different level since I've finished reading. That said, I believe the new craze of the App world is putting a dent (and not in the good way) in human relationships. Since I've moved to New York, all of my friends have been going on dates with people they met on Tindr or OkCupid or whatever other app may be providing the same service. Don't get me wrong, I'm not criticising these apps or anyone using them, but rather raising the point that I find this to be a little alarming. To me, it's really easy to fake personality and be extra expressive about emotions (both good and bad) behind the comfort of a cell phone screen. The person who exercises once a month can take a photo of that monthly occasion and make themselves seem like the biggest health-conscious individual in the whole world. Someone who's afraid to look another in the eye can be the most fluid conversationalist via text. Long story short, I don't think I could ever use such apps. So, the question is, with everything going more digital and "social" (ironic word, if you ask me), can someone like me expect to meet new people in real life, via other friends or in non-digital settings? Or is it already too late to ask that question?

finally

My mom always wants me to take a photo of her whenever we're together in a new city or doing new things. I always do it, but I usually roll my eyes, because, in all seriousness, is she ever really going to look at a photo of herself crossing the Brooklyn Bridge? 

But then, the other day I thought, "why do I have to be so annoying and sigh every time she asks for a photo?" It costs me absolutely nothing to take it, and makes her happy. So why not just happily do it for her?
And then the other day, I found myself telling my friend that we need to take more photos each time we're together because who knows where she'll be next year, and we'll never be young in New York again. So we might as well do it while we still can... 

And then things clicked. 

I'll be taking more photos from now on. And more with my mom in them.